BARNARDO – The Fool God, Master of Hearth and Home

Status:  Younger God

Level:  6500

Avatar:  Aarint

Barnardo is solely a Tibbit deity (he grants no boons to any other race), he is a God of creativity, the protector of Tibbit culture and the essentials of civilised life. His appearance is that of a kindly plump Tibbit, adorned in simple comfortable attire and is often depicted dragging an enormous smoking pipe on wheels.

Barnardo’s father Why M-c’aye was a Northern Tibbit clan lord (before the times of human civilisation) a selfish and uncaring Tibbit who ruled over his clan with a domineering and selfish hand. His power and strength came from his personal half-Orc guard whom he bestowed with gifts and other more physical rewards.

Why was a notorious womaniser, he took what he wanted and when he was done with them he exiled or sold them into slavery. One such woman was Elspeth, after an argument and near fatal beating Elspeth and her son, Barnardo, were sold to the elves as slaves. Why had such a strong hold over his clan that there was very little any of his peoples could do to overthrow him.

When the first human king announced his sovereignty Barnardo was released (his mother Elspeth had died during her captivity in the Earth Elves Mines of the North Wall). He returned to his clan a changed Tibbit, his father now old took him back as a slave (his father having taken various other partners and sired 6 other children) and set him to the task of caring for the animals and kitchen work.

Barnardo’s cooking soon displayed a miraculous ingenuity, for he was able to feed hungry animals without any reduction in the meals he prepared for the chieftain’s table. Barnardo’s thoughts were always full of good wishes and soon became legendary. It is said that he dreamed of a great lake of mead for the new king of Chamwaedd to drink from. In fact Barnardo fed and gave so much to the poor and so enthusiastically that his father was rapidly being threatened with becoming impoverished and loosing his chiefdom or even his life to his half-Orc guardians.

After discussion with Grimace, his most trusted half-Orc adviser Barnardo’s father then decided that the best course of action was to marry his troublesome son off. Possibly gaining some extra revenue to his own estate. When all suitable females were exhausted he tried any available female, but this was all to no avail Barnardo’s only love was that of giving and charity.

It was the chieftain’s 13th partner who came up with the idea of marrying him to a god. Liking the idea Barnardo’s father sent him to the far south to join the Nuns of Ishtra.

While in the service of Ishtra Barnardo came upon two worn out persons sitting in the shade of a ‘Boingtom Tree’ (a rare apple tree producing the sweetest of fruit, found in the Southland’s) the male and female were tired and in need of refreshment. Barnardo made them a glorious meal from the surrounding area (it seemed that the ingredients almost appeared in his hands without him looking for them). After the meal Barnardo sat and talked to the couple, they listened to his tale of woe and when he had finished they said unto him. “Barnardo if thou hast grown weary of this world comst hence with us and we shalt show a new life were you can share thou great gifts with many others.”

Barnardo thought on this for a while then decided to go with the couple. So it was that Marnarka and Tanarsa led Barnardo up the secret ways of the roots of Yggdrasil and brought him into Bifrost.

SYMBOL

Barnardo’s symbol is that of a white Dove or a Smokers Pipe.

WORSHIP

Worship to Barnardo is a two-faced affair on the one side appearing to be a hard working community person willing to help but more truthfully a workshy layabout who would do anything rather that work.

With this in mind, Barnardo’s followers are protectors of the home. They excel in the family spirit and this is mirrored very much in their worship. They treat all persons with a friendly open attitude; no person is ever refused hospitality at a Barnardo temple.

Priests of Barnardo are also very much into community spirit. When not at church they are visiting town’s people (getting free tea and coffee and avoiding the washing up) or organising some community project (like cleaning the church grounds or washing the rectory windows).

As mentioned this ‘caring’ type of attitude Barnardo priests portray is a bit of a ruse they are ‘lazy’ and so you will find they often delegate as oppose to work on any project embarked on, Barnardo Priests excel at this Don’t do Delegate nature.

TEMPLES

Barnardo’s temples are well looked after, cosy and homely. The major factor is that the door is never locked nor barred. The temple is usually only run by one priest known as a vicar. He usually lives off site in a small rectory. Returning to the church each day for prayer.

HOLY DAYS

Barnardo’s festivals are a pleasant celebration of flowers, food and drink. The timing of this festival falls upon the longest day of the year, when the sun stays in the sky the longest. The celebration takes the form of a great fete where there are loads of charity stalls, drinking tents, arena displays and food stalls (usually of homemade wares).

FRIENDS AND ENEMIES

Barnardo priests have no enemies, and treat all with a friendly attitude

CULT REQUIREMENTS

The only requirement is that of a caring nature, and an ability to shirk off work without being caught.

STRICTURES

• Never lock your door
• Never refuse hospitality
• You must do any job/task with the minimum effort, but must never do a half-job the task must be completed correctly.
• Never allow anyone to see you Shirking off work
• Endeavour never to miss a meal. Meals are as follows starting just after sunrise:-

First Breakfast Work Breakfast

First Break  Brunch

Elevenses  Ploughmans (Midday)

Middling lunch Scones

Afternoon tea Late tea

High Tea  Snack

Early Dinner Puddings

Seconds  Supper

Late Snack  Midnight Raid

Munchies

• Never turn down the offer of a free meal or drink, or even some sort of pleasurable visit i.e. Parties, pub, etc. Unless of course there is work involved than excuses can be made.